You become self conscious, start to question yourself and fear what the future may bring. Actually visualize and verbalize their potential responses. Just as Nehemiah quickly prayed when he was called up to the presence of the king so you need to silently pray while attentively listening. Or maybe I had heard it somewhere beforehand. Which then opens you up. People love to share positive emotions and usually like to know what makes the other person tick. “If you on the other hand do what you deep down think is the right thing as much as you can then you feel like you deserve good things in life (and so the need to impress anyone significantly decreases). Whether you have an anxiety disorder or struggle … But what’s the easiest way to put this into practice and actually make a real change so I don't get stuck in this kind of situation again?”, Well, I’ve got something special for you…. Not Down’s syndrome. Talk out loud. The only person expecting you have to the perfect answer to everything is you. I don’t know as much as that other guy, I have no right to say anything on the topic. It’s a place where you probably are most of the time with your closest friends and family. Some people are too quick to give up on a conversation when it turns out there's one thing they don't have in common with someone. There is just more of it. Often once you get your lack of familiarity about the topic out in the open, you'll then find a way to get the conversation going again. They don’t. A lot of the time, they tell me this while my other children are standing with me. You get stuck between options for what to say and nothing comes out. I am having a bad day BTW. Join the 80,000 people that subscribe to the Positivity Newsletter and you’ll get practical tips on happiness, self-esteem, productivity and more each week. This was the exact same comment that was the most encouraging and uplifting to our friends. This may sound lame, but it works. The conversation stalls and there is even perhaps an uncomfortable silence. I Don’t Know What To Say… We’ve all been in this situation. Don’t think too much.. Having such goal can accumulate performance anxiety and it screws with your mind and does not help you improve anything. Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Setting such ridiculous expectations just screws with your mind and improves nothing. You notice what the people you are talking to are actually saying, what is happening in your conversation and around you. By being curious and associating, you will always have new information and ideas to pose to the other person. I think if I have integrity and do what I think is right, I feel much better about myself. There are a few compliments that you should never say about children with Down Syndrome. Don’t say, “Nichole is Downs” say, “Nichole has Down syndrome.” Down syndrome does not define individuals, it is simply a part of who they are. God only gives special kids to special parents. You’ll also get these three guides for free: I’ve learned that in conversations the whole secret is to be relaxed and yourself. If you on the other hand do what you deep down think is the right thing as much as you can then you feel like you deserve good things in life (and so the need to impress anyone significantly decreases). You are really talking about your belief about how you feel. She was one of the most influential American film critics of her era. For me, I can say these three reason are the culprits to my dilemma or not knowing what to say. We know our bodies best, and we need to research those changes for ourselves. No one is expecting that except you. Don’t say the Down syndrome girl. People with Down syndrome are people, like … I've never had an answer that I can say with confidence; I still don't know what I'm allowed to claim." First, here’s my short explanation why you might run into this problem. You tend to create division in your world and mind. Use a pile driver. – 78 Love Quotes Originally Answered: How do I overcome the I Don’t Know What to Say Syndrome? This is called your natural headspace. It opens you up. Before You Ask Which Way to go, Remember Where You've Been. Learn more with a list of other ways to say … So perhaps getting to know someone with Down syndrome would be a good idea. I am so glad that my friend sent me that text because it has inspired me to be a bit more honest when I talk about my illness. But a more common reason why you may run into this problem is that you feel that you need to say the “right thing”. They may be able to refer you to someone they know through conferences or research efforts. Which goes back to just breathing and observation. Then you should automatically slid on into your comfort zone and mindset of your just with another good friend of yours. But you can tell because it is easy for you to detect patterns, which is a strength of a person with Asperger’s and patterns of behavior exist among people with autism, so that’s how you can tell. Do you know that two-thirds of all the divorces that are filed in our country are filed by women? "I don't want my mom to know I'm upset." If there is violence, and sometimes there is, … – How to Overcome Frustration During an event at Hillsdale College, Attorney General William Barr suggested that the calls for … Assume Rapport. I can tell how much they know about Down syndrome by watching 30 seconds after they find out. “This is really helpful information. Even I struggle with these negative questions everyday. ( Log Out /  This is not to say that women take their commitment to their marriages lightly. How to overcome the I don’t know what to say syndrome One of the most common problems that people may run into in conversations – based on my own experiences, emails/comments I get and feedback from people in real life – is that their heads go empty and they don’t know what to say … When you think too much you tend to have your focus inwards. “Just think! Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. When you are stuck in some kind of negative emotional state then you are closed up. Don’t Say : Do Say: suffers from OR is a victim of Down syndrome: has Down syndrome: a Down’s baby/person/child: a person/baby/child with Down syndrome or who has Down syndrome: retarded/mentally handicapped/backward: learning disability: disease/illness/handicap: condition OR genetic condition It will be like having a little kid living with you forever! People don’t have “mild” Down syndrome, or “severe” Down syndrome. You don’t look sick. No one is expecting that except you. You can also find inspiration for topics by simply observing your surroundings. 2. ( Log Out /  The person you are talking to. You create barriers between you and other things/people. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Often once you get your lack of familiarity about the topic out in the open, you'll then find a way to get the conversation going again. At some deep level, you realize you don't really know what you're talking about, but you convince yourself otherwise. So be curious. Tips to overcome “I do not know what to say” syndrome December 27, 2017 / 0 Comments / in Anxiety, Anxiety Treatment, Behavioral Health / by ATCC Team. Speaking from experience and on going issue, your talking with someone and then arise a very uncomfortable and awkward silence. Now we can’t hide behind the “I don’t know what to say” syndrome when it comes to evangelism. Pray. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Why It's OK That You Don't Know What to Say About My Illness I was recently diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS)…And by recently, I mean last week. Brooke Slater Goodspeed, whose son has Down Syndrome and autism and who with her husband founded Great Expectations Together, remembers the most helpful thing that a friend said to her shortly after her son’s birth: “I don’t know what to say right now, but I love you and I love your son.” Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Some things people say make me feel good about myself and make me believe that sharing who I am was a good idea… and then there are those who don’t know what to say and make me feel guilty and/or ashamed about being open. Setting such ridiculous expectations just screws with your mind and improves nothing. No, I don’t have any. We just need to take the first step of going and God will fill our mouths. The same people who say you are normal, now say your opinion isn’t worth crap because you are too stupid to know anything at all. Mix the questions up with making statements. We are called to go out and preach the good news. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. We have all been there. Assume your going in and meeting with a good friend and that you are you to establish a good conversation or connection (Rapport). "If you'd (exercise more/lose weight/eat a better diet/get back to work) you'd feel better." – How to Make Someone Happy Some people are too quick to give up on a conversation when it turns out there's one thing they don't have in common with someone. Instead it can lead to a sort of performance anxiety that winds up paralyzing your mind. There’s no wrong question or no wrong answer ( I beg to differ to the “no wrong answer”, people are wrong a lot). If you know me, then we may have experienced this, haha. Polly, who happens to have Down syndrome.) All you have to do is just Breathe or/and Observe and Assume Rapport. My memory isn't that good enough to establish what came first. 16. Copyrightⓒ2019 SBS Contents Hub Co., Ltd. & YG Entertainment Inc. All rights reserved. Not all illnesses are manifested outwardly. Listen and while you are listening silently ask the Lord for help. You would never say “you don’t look like someone who is going through a terrible divorce” if your stressed out friends still manage to put on a brave face and pull themselves together. I also call this “living in a mood”. Terminology is important, and often mistaken. I have spent the past week trying to find the time and energy to explain EDS to everyone I know. It never hurts to be updated on what’s happening in the world. The tips above should help you out but if you get really stuck anyway then you may want prepare and have a few topics in your mental back pocket. Well, I still don't know. – How to Find Inner Peace And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your nervousness or fear. So how do you get into this comfortable and social headspace? We have all been there. But it’s not easy and I know that. I don’t want ANOTHER person to think I’m quiet and boring!” We all want a way out of that humiliating silence. So, I say something that I don’t really mean or I make a joke to deflect. And then you and the people in the conversation can go on to talking about family or the oil problems the world is facing. So now your mind is paralyzed and now have nothing to say next. (e.i. Realize that you don’t always have to have the best answer or say the perfect thing. James Nathan Miller, “If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. But when you are curious, don’t get stuck in the questions game where the conversation turns into an interrogation. And so you don’t know what to say next. Talk out loud. Step 1: Don’t Fight Anxiety…Accept It and Act Through It – 13 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt A free step-by-step cheatsheet that includes all the steps in this article… save it or print it out so you have it for your daily life and for the next time when you're worried that you'll don't know what to say. – How to Overcome Failure Blah blah blah. Ability is not dependent on the condition, but rather the individual. – How to Stop Being So Lazy You feel confident and alive.” I agree with so much. Instead it can lead to a sort of performance anxiety that winds up paralyzing your mind. You see, emotions are temporary and they come and go, neurobiology has shown this. You become self conscious, start to question yourself and fear what the future may bring. If your thoughts and actions aren’t in harmony then you don’t feel so good about yourself. Or you want to impress someone. So here’s a 5-step process to help you come up with the words you need when you don’t know what to say. The psychological phenomenon of illusory superiority was identified as a form of cognitive bias in Kruger and Dunning's 1999 study, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments". Tip: Sometimes I find that one of the best ways to transform the “I don’t know syndrome” is to pro-actively try to dismantle it. Don't give up on your parents. Move the conversation over to them. Jason Freedman of 42 Floors shared a story about a competitive hiring process where one of the key deciding factors for the candidate was Freedman’s openness about not knowing an answer. Actually visualize and verbalize their potential responses. That awkward moment when we suddenly run out of words on a first date or while meeting someone for the first or second time. Don’t say , “Downs kids are just so special…” What you mean is you want to be an encouragement, you want your loved one to know that it is going to be okay because you have heard of, or you know of someone with, Down Syndrome and they are great. I don't know much about that stuff." But even experts are often clueless as to what they don’t know. I have seen students, with a little work, go into sets just a couple hours of saying," I don't know what to say," and they are sitting there talking to girls for like an hour, making out, and leaving with them. To avoid appearing stupid for saying the wrong thing or asking the wrong question. Again thanks for reading and please follow for future post updates and comments. Practice by having pretend conversations with random imaginary people while you are alone. First and foremost, a few reasons why I think we are experiencing these issues. 3. So here are a few approaches towards overthrowing this condition. thinking “how will this go” and very nervous and worried. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.” In order to connect with this comfortable state you need to focus on your breathing and/or observe and take in your surroundings with all your 6 senses…oh wait…forgot you guys only have the normal 5 senses. Try not to leave things hanging there though. Some specialists may be willing to consult with you or your local doctors over the phone or by email if you can't travel to them for care. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your nervousness or fear. I can be superfluous and say, “Don’t be scared, develop more confidence and step out of your comfort zone”. The topic of camping gear on TV can help you bounce over to the time you and your family got trapped in a rain storm in just a tint. Not everyone “looks like” what is happening to them. Learn different ways to say I don’t know with pictures to improve your communications skill in English. When you think too much you tend to have your focus inwards. How to Overcome the I Don’t Know What to Say Syndrome 1. Instead of asking them what’s their favorite kind of music, just tell them what your favorites are and then let them carry forward from the statement. 1. Their words were simple and honest, “I don’t know what to say.” Sometimes when talking about my illness, I don’t even know what to say. I have the extra one haha, Shhh ! Just before the meeting, you just think/pretend that you’ll be meeting a good friend. You don’t have to be perfect.. ( Log Out /  It’s like being delivered my diagnosis all over again, on a smaller scale. you forgot the words you need to say. One reason might be that you are simply not prepared or out of your “regular world” (meaning for example that you go to a party to watch the finals in the world championship in rugby but know nothing about the sport while the other people are huge fans). "I don't want my mom to know I'm upset." Pauline Kael (/ k eɪ l /; June 19, 1919 – September 3, 2001) was an American film critic who wrote for The New Yorker magazine from 1968 to 1991. Try not to leave things hanging there though. At some deep level, you realize you don't really know what you're talking about, but you convince yourself otherwise. – 101 Happiness Quotes Teachers would always ask the student if they have any questions and to always participate in class. Practice by having pretend conversations with random imaginary people while you are alone. The topic of fishing lure commercials on TV can help you bounce over to the time you and your uncle got trapped in boat without fuel while fishing. When you say that you “feel you don’t know what to say” you actually ARE NOT talking about your emotions. A child does not have Downs. But here is a general guide of what to say or not to say when your friend’s baby is diagnosed with Down syndrome: Don’t say: –God gives special children to special parents. Realize that you don’t always have to have the best answer or say the perfect thing. But anyway, I don't hope to gain anything from this forum. If you have a healthy relationship with your mother, you probably often turn to her when you've had a bad day or are going through something painful. 21 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School. Then I say, "Ok. You can also find inspiration for topics by simply observing your surroundings. When you feel like a … Change ). Award-winning screenwriter Cynthia Whitcomb, who has sold 70 screenplays and seen 29 come to the screen, puts on a chef's hat instead. Usually I feel like a fraud when I think I’m more important than I am. But a common reason why we may run into this problem is that we feel that we have to say the right thing. I don't know much about that stuff." Official video for "I Don't Know" by The Sheepdogs from their platinum selling album Learn & Burn! Breathe or/and Observe. Also, the correct term is Down syndrome. Our comfort zone (meaning for example that you go to a party to watch the NFL Super Bowl but know nothing about the sport while the other people are huge fans). – 73 Quotes on Fear, Home | Contact | Search the Archives | Free Email Updates | Privacy Policy. Bonus: Download a free step-by-step cheatsheet that will show you how to avoid this syndrome in your own life (it's easy to save as a PDF or print out for whenever you need it during your day or week). I don't know how you live like that all the time." This may sound lame, but it works. You feel like you are disappointing yourself and your self esteem sinks. In this state of mind conversation tends to flow more naturally without much thinking. Since 2006 I’ve written about self-esteem and happiness and much more. [ Click here to learn more about me and this website…], – 7 Habits of Unhappy People This is where you are when you are with your family and friends. (Okay, maybe you’re not that bad, but think of a know-it-all who you know. "I just don't have anything else to say, I'm not mad or upset, I don't think your dumb, I really really don't have anything else to say, not in a rude way, I'm not giving up, I am just at a total loss of what you want from me" I know she wants some sort of emotional response, I feel like she would prefer me to get angry. Again, curiosity is good because people like to talk about themselves. Image at the start of the article by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/caste/ / CC BY-SA 2.0. I don’t always mind.. but it’s draining. A frequent issue among people is having an empty head when it comes to what to say next. You may have encountered an acquaintance or a new friend and you are trying to get into this “getting to know you” chat and poof! This one is not untrue, and it doesn’t really bother me…I just hear it all of the time. It just makes sense. What they hear is…”Your baby is a Downs baby.” – 74 Friendship Quotes “There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. I speak from experience when I say it is a very humbling experience for a parent when they realize they have been quick to judge and slow to understand their adult children. Thus, focusing on what people are actually saying and what is happening around you and your conversation. Instead of asking what someone’s favorite film is just tell them what your favorite one is and the let them continue from that statement. I have also seen a few of them talk to a chick for 20 minutes and then tell me later, "I still don't know what to say." Mix the questions up with making statements. You get stuck between options for what to say and nothing comes out. Or you may want to impress someone.
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